Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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