Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
