White coat. Heels.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
