he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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