Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
