The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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