I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
