i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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