Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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