life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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