guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
