when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
