Little spoons don't ask big questions
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
