Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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