dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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