I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
