May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
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