I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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