Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
