so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
