I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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