Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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