Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
