this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
