All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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