Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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