I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
