I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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