I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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