For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize