im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
