Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
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