I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
