yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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