I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
