I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
