uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
