just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
