3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
