Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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