Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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