that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
