That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have aggressive nipples.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
