Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
