rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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