I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
