I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
