ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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