You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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