Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
