it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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