winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
